"You, you got what I need!"

Oh Biz Markie, I hear ya buddy!

Doesn't actually have anything to do with this post, but c'mon, it's Biz Markie!

If the plight of the equestrian world had to be summed up in one cliche sentence, I believe it would be "keeping up with the Joneses".  Whether at your barn, on social media, or on that wonderfully wallet-depleting Tack of the Day website (so much money spent there!) we are constantly bombarded with the "could haves".

The other day, I caught myself coveting a super nice horse trailer.  Four horse slant load, living quarters, it even had a flat screen TV! *drool*.  As I looked over my poor, 20-year-old Dalton two horse gooseneck with chipping paint and an interior that my husband and friend's husband are so valiantly trying to save, I thought to myself "man, if only..."

Look! I'm getting wooden floors! WooHoo!

"If only" has to be one of the most dangerous terms to come out of an equestrian's mouth.  Really, anyone's mouth.  "If only" implies that at the moment, we can't do our best, or be our best, because we don't have this, we need that.  Here are some frequent "if only" statements that I have heard, probably in the past six months (and I've uttered quite a few myself if we're being honest!)

-If only I had a better saddle
-If only I had more money
-If only I could live ________
-If only I had a horse with better potential
-If only I could ride as much as she/he does
-If only my parents were rich

The list goes on and on.  It's so easy to fall into the trap of telling yourself "it's okay if I'm not working at 100% right now, because I don't have ______".

I'm telling you now, it's not okay.

It's not okay to wait until the future, until you have more, until you can afford more.  If you are not working at 100% capacity right now, that is not okay.

What is okay, however, is acknowledging your situation.  Let's use the "horse with better potential" scenario, because that seems to be a quite frequent one.

So your horse can only compete at training level.  Meanwhile, Suzie TooRich is moving up to Preliminary or Intermediate, because Daddy TooRich is writing out checks left and right for her to have the horse, the training, the fancy trailer, etc.  "Well, I could do that too, IF ONLY I had Suzie's daddy" we say.  So we kick around at training level, staring off into the horizon of preliminary and intermediate, asking ourselves why we bother if we can't ever move up because of financial setbacks.

Here's the hard truth: you may never move up.  You may never be able to afford a horse of that caliber, and you may never find that rich old uncle who has left you a castle in England.  Life isn't a fairy tale, and sometimes we can't always get what we want (I'm listening to music while I write, can you tell?)

BUT, this is the harder truth: YOU are wasting YOUR time and YOUR joy by coveting Suzie.  YOU are draining YOUR motivation and desire.

Which means YOU have control over this.

So stop saying "if only" and start saying "I can".  Let's look at those statements above, and change them into I can statements:

-I can learn to ride in this saddle, and if the opportunity arises to get a nicer one, I will be that much better.
-I can budget for what I need, and find ways to work towards what I want.
-I can look for opportunities in my area, and help my equestrian community grow.
-I can ride this horse to his/her best potential, and explore other areas of training to strengthen my ability as a rider.
-I can manage my time efficiently to get in as much ride time as my life currently allows, and make the most of that time.
-I can work hard at school/work so that I can afford myself the opportunities I desire later in life.

I know what it's like to feel like you work hard and don't come away with anything.  You do your best to help everyone, you keep your nose clean, you take care of what little you have, and yet it feels like you're just stuck with no hope of things getting better. I get it.  However, I am making a decision right now to stop looking at my barn "neighbors" (no pun intended), at the posts on Facebook, at those gorgeous breeches for sale on Tack of the Day, and wanting.  I am going to look at my beautiful horse, at my opportunities to ride with friends and trainers when I can afford it, and yes, even my sad little trailer, and I am going to be thankful for these opportunities, and I'm going to give 100% to be the best I can be with what I have.

Who's joining me?